Great Verse to Remember

Love is Patient; Love is Kind (King James Version; 31 Corinthians 13)

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

New International Version

1 Corinthains 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or aclanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Letter to my Friend

I am glad to see your posts - you seem very positive, and that's important. Too often I see how "the system" doesn't work - I mean, people staying clean and staying out of jail. No one teaches people HOW to stay clean by getting to the ROOT of the addictions, the cause behind the behavior. If the system did a better job of doing that, the cycle within people would be broken and everyone would know they are good and can live with pure happiness.

I will pray for you everyday to find the power within - because I know you can do it. BELIEVE everyday that you can and will, because YOU ARE WORTH IT.

The thing about AA meetings is that they teach about having a higher power. I believe what would be more effective is if they actually taught WHO that higher power is and how much He loves you and wants you to have a fulfilling life of happiness.

You've heard God is good and God is love - for many people (myself included) it didn't make sense. I thought how can God be good when He punishes me, allows people to have terrible diseases and tragic things to occur. What I learned is - that is not God. God does not do those things.

When we start finding things out about who God really is and how applying His word can transform our lives - it's amazing. I will pray for you to find this amazing inner strength because once you do ALL great things are possible and it would heal you, allowing you to finally be free from addiction, forever.

Don't allow the religious people we've met along the way, who may have judged us, to allow those experiences to shape our idea of who God is - because like I said, God is love. If it's not love and goodness, if it doesn't leave you with a good feeling, IT IS NOT GOD.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas and remember Jesus died for us because through Him we stand before God as perfect humans that never did a single thing wrong. We can forgive ourselves for messing up, because God forgives us.

The TRUTH really does set you FREE.

My Christmas Wish

My heart breaks for what breaks our Creator's heart. Please, spread His love. This Christmas, make a commitment to be a bright light in this broken world. Love one another. Forgive, and Love.

Quit Smoking

I bought a book online just so that the author would have a look at my blog and offer advice on how to improve it. Then I realized my blog is truly nothing to look at just yet. The good news is the book has funny advice for handling finances and who couldn't use more help in that area! Well at least I can. So I bought it, but now I feel kind of silly the author will be checking out my blog with like, 4 entries. His advice will probably be something like "post more blogs."

So I figured I would get started on that...I wish I had my friend Linda's brain for proper grammar and where to place commas appropriately, but I don't. And I really did complete the 2nd grade. I need to re-take that year in English (perhaps 3rd grade too) because I struggle with when to use who or whom and not ending a sentence with a preposition. Life is hard, and having to know correct grammar rules makes it all the more difficult.

I am on my first day of no smoking cigarettes - and I can tell you that it makes for a slightly grumpy mood. But I'd rather be grumpy for a bit than to develop cancer. Cancer is scary, and not something I'm interested in having, ever. I AM a non-smoker with less chances of developing cancer. And that ends my blog for today. Hope it was enjoyable.

Amazing Power of Our Universe

The power of positive is truly amazing. That's the thing about God - It's a deep feeling of pure POSITIVE belief. When you have this belief it changes EVERYTHING. Suddenly you realize with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. What we humans think is impossible is always possible with the power of God. BELIEVE in the power of positive because it works. It brings you true happiness and gives us pure hope always. AMEN ♥

More Random Thoughts, maybe a Revelation...

I realized my blog won't be 'real' until I figure out exactly what I want to focus on, meaning the overall theme. At this point my thoughts are completely random and unorganized. I also need to figure out my audience. If I talk about Jesus and God and quote the bible, will I lose the people that don't hold the same beliefs? I really need to figure out what I am going to focus on here...hmmmm...

Maybe for now my blog is more of an online journal. Bear with me, I will figure it out. I really feel God is calling me to share my stories so that in some way I can help others with similar struggles. There are two voices in my head and it totally reminds me of the old cartoons with the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. One voice is saying to write a book about my life, and the other is saying that's stupid, no one cares or will read what I have to say. I find it odd that several people over the course of my twenties have told me I should write a book. A sign or coincidence? I will continue to seek answers and in the meantime I will blog.

The thing about a book is that it won't always be pretty or 'easy' to read, especially for the people in my life who have had a lot of influence (my parents, siblings, etc). I would have to be 100% honest and do it with love. This is hard because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Maybe I just have a disclaimer up front: "You may not like what you're about to read, and you may not agree with my perspective or point of view. But please know I hold no ill feelings, I don't place blame, and I love you very much. My memories may not be accurate but they are mine - perception is reality."

That made me think of something - my husband says I always twist his words. I don't mean to, it's just that I hear what I hear. Perception really does create one's reality. For so long my perception has been tainted by evil voices in my head. I am trying everyday to stop listening to "the devil" and instead listen to the "voice of truth." It's a hard transition and I expect it will take years of undoing. The voice that tells me "you're not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough...you're not a good mother, wife, employee, sister, friend....you're worthless and no one even likes you." I hate that guy!! He makes me feel like crap. I only realized recently I have control over these voices. I can choose to replace the mean thoughts with what I call "God" thoughts or that my friend refers to as "Jesus Mode."

I hope I can teach this wisdom to my daughter.  I know all too well how around 12 years old your view of the world and your view of yourself starts to change. I was 12 when I became depressed. I was 12 when I started smoking and doing drugs. Looking back, twelve was the pivotal age for me - the beginning of severe depression, suicide attempts, obsessions with men, lots of abuse, drinking, drugs....I experienced so many terrible things between the ages of 12 and 16. And sadly I didn't get better until I was 31 years old. So many things still lingered, but most of all those mean thoughts kept eating me up inside. I still struggle but I am happy to report I now have more good days than bad. I pray and pray everyday for God's word and for God's wisdom. I don't want my daughter to be depressed or to abuse drugs (I hear they both run in the family.) She has so much potential (just like I did).

Today is Shianne's 12th birthday. I hope I am not too late.

Love, Love, Love: "Kill Them with Kindness"

Why do we teach our children that if someone hits them to hit back? I am guilty of this too. Only recently did I realize it was the wrong approach. Today I told my daughter that if anyone ever hits her, perhaps she could hug them back. As usual, she thinks I am nuts. It's likely true (that I am a nut).

But imagine if every time someone was a jerk to us, we responded in love? I had a doctor appointment one day, and it was my first visit to a new office. I walked in and greeted the receptionist, who was less than friendly. My initial reaction was to leave the office, thinking if these people wanted my business they would be more friendly. Then I thought perhaps this woman is having a bad day, or experiencing personal problems (aren't we all)? Instead of being snotty back, I was extra nice. This approach softened her immediately and every visit since has been very pleasant.We never know what someone is experiencing inside, and maybe a little love is all they need in that moment.

Another example: My boss told me that when he starts to get annoyed during road trips, his wife responds by making him laugh. If they are lost, he'll say "we have no idea where we are!" She'll say "of course we do, we are right here!" Her sense of humor immediately calms him. What could have been a very tense situation or argument turns into laughter.They do say laughter is the best medicine!

I think this is an important message for today's children (and adults too) in a society where we are normally hell-bent on revenge when someone treats us badly. If we can rise above our ego, we can create a more loving environment. Hate only breeds more hate. Love breeds love. Let's choose to love :)

Just Attract It

Do our children have some sort of key to the mysteries of life? Do they have answers we have often overlooked? Do adults make things too complex sometimes? Think too much perhaps? Maybe answers are all around us, but we look in the wrong places. Sometimes, we are blind. We create our own reality.

One time my daughter was playing darts with her dad. He was trying to get a bullseye. After many failed attempts, Shianne looked at him as though he were stupid (in an innocent way). She said to him, "Poppa, if you want the dart to go into the bullseye, just attract it." She was probably around 7 years old at the time. She said this as if we were stupid, like 'duh parents!!' (The other day she told me if she knew it would be this hard raising parents she wouldn't have done it). What did she mean? My husband didn't quite know, and neither did I. Could it have to do with believing in something, or the power of positive thinking? In any case, my husband tried "attracting it", and it worked - bullseye. Coincidence?

I believe she has some sort of innocent, untouched, untainted insight into the ways of the world. Maybe all children are born with it, and then we lose it because no one tapped into it. We always seem to try and shape or mold our children into what we "want" them to be, or think they should be. How about just letting them Be? Our children have much to teach us, if we're willing to be still and listen.

I should have named the blog 'Shianne's Lessons for Me.' :)

"Seeing" in Color

I read a book a few months back called "The Shack." At one point in the story it spoke about God seeing in color. I don't think any human will ever figure out exactly how God "sees," but I think perhaps this is part of the bigger picture.

It got me thinking which led me to a discussion with one of my very best friends. She realized she can see in color. She described what color she saw in me and my husband recently, and it seems they were accurate according to the website we read.

She saw me as a pinkish-violet: Pink-bright and light: Loving, tender, sensitive, sensual, artistic, affection, purity, compassion; new or revieved romantic relationship. Can indicate clairaudience. Pink: sensitivity, unconditional love ,gentleness willingness to help serves others ,easily hurt not spiteful or jealousy VIOLET AURA COLOR: Relates to crown, pineal gland and nervous system. The most sensitive and wisest of colors. This is the intuitive color in the aura, and reveals psychic power of attunement with self. Intuitive, visionary, futuristic, idealistic, artistic, magical. VIOLET: vision, imagination, intuitiveness , healing Mystical, unifying, enchantment, charm and deep spiritual understanding. High spiritual energy that can transmute lower energies.

She saw my husband as green, which furthered my belief in his natural ability as a healer:
GREEN AURA COLOR: Relates to heart and lungs. It is a very comfortable, healthy color of nature. When seen in the aura this usually represents growth and balance, and most of all, something that leads to change. Love of people, animals, nature; teacher; social
Bright emerald green: A healer, also a love-centered person


This morning while driving I asked my daughter and her friend if they could see in color, since apparently it comes naturally for children [Very young children (up to 5 years of age) see auras naturally. Infants frequently look ABOVE a person in front of them. When they don't like the color of the aura above the head, or if this color is much different from their parent's aura, they cry, no matter how much smiling the person does.] 

Kara (9 years old) said she can see colors, and so I asked her to see what color she thought our pastor was while suspecting the answer (she hadn't met him yet). After service, she said my pastor was Yellow. I suspected that would be his color based on descriptions of yellow (I thought he would emit orange, yellow, or gold):  YELLOW AURA COLOR: Relates to the spleen and life energy. It is the color of awakening, inspiration, intelligence and action shared, creative, playful, optimistic, easy-going. 

I plan to research this further and welcome any comments or feedback on this topic. :-)


The following are websites I referenced in the above blog:
http://www.thiaoouba.com/seeau.htm
http://www.reiki-for-holistic-health.com/auracolormeanings.html
http://pjentoft.com/AURA-Color_-meanings.html

Are Good People Going to Hell?

I hope my thoughts are not offensive, and I apologize in advance if that is the case.

One day in church I was there with my non-believing husband and non-believing daughter. A seemingly kind man read aloud a passage in the bible (I believe it's Revelation 21:8):  "But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars - their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death." Basically my husband took this to mean he will be sent to Hell for not believing in the God of the bible. And this really upset him. After that, he didn't feel like going back to church.

And I didn't blame him. I know what the Bible says, and I do believe in it. I certainly don't have all the answers as a new believer. But I do know my husband and my daughter are two of the most kindest, sweetest persons I have ever met. It's a hard pill to swallow that Jeffrey Dahmer is sitting up in heaven after murdering 17 humans, yet my husband and daughter will go to hell simply because they did not know (don't believe). It's hard to think that humans and children all over the planet will go to hell because no one told them who Jesus Christ was, that he even existed. Hardly seems like a God of Love.

When I expressed my concern to a friend, they said it was good for my husband and daughter to hear that. They need to know they will go to hell if they don't believe. My stomach turned. I thought "is this really the message we want to send to non-believers?" As a former non-believer, I can tell you with 100% certainty if you would have told me this, I would have told you to go to hell yourself. What I cannot stand is righteous religious people who stand up and say others are going to Hell while they themselves commit all sorts of sins and are forgiven - and simply "go to Heaven" because they believe. It doesn't feel like the message Jesus wanted to send, at least not to me.

I went to a bible study one night and a man said something that has stuck with me. He pointed out that when Jesus came and walked among us, the people from the lowest dredges of society were drawn to him. He didn't come for the perfect could-do-no-wrong people, he came for the prostitutes, tax collectors, the lowly of the low. Jesus was good news for the poor and oppressed. This gentleman pointed out that as followers of Christ, are we drawing people like that to us? I fear the answer for many Christians might be "no."

During last week's service my pastor made the observation that as followers of Christ, "Christians" - that when people see us we are supposed to be good news. "Look, a Christian has arrived! Thank God help has come!" Or when you see a church being built, people should think "Thank goodness, help is coming!" But is this the reality? I fear not.

I recently told a Christian friend about my new found love for the Lord and how much peace and happiness this relationship has brought to me life. This person's reaction was "now do you find it hard to hang around friends who aren't believers?" I must admit, at first it was. I didn't want to make them uncomfortable because God was all I could talk about. But distance myself from my friends that have seen me through difficult times in my life, and have always stuck by me when I was less than loving? I didn't think that felt right. I love my friends. I think I will simply take the advice I have heard so often since finding God. "Don't talk about the light. BE the light." Actions speak louder than words. By walking away from friends that don't believe, or distancing myself, what does that say to them about God? What message does that send?

I wear a necklace with a cross on it. For some reason when this cross is visible to others, I feel strongly compelled to smile more, showing over the top kindness, patience, gentleness, and love. I constantly think "Heather, you are REPRESENTING." I am Christian, and I represent everything for which Christ stood. I can only hope I am making Him proud. I want non-believers and everyone else who doesn't know Jesus to really see what it means to be a Christian, and for me this is a very tall order. Be the best person I can be. Love everyone, judge no one, don't be a hypocrite, don't think that my relationship with Jesus makes me better than other people.

Today my prayer is that fellow Christians all over the planet would remember that we are representing Christ. To practice kindness and love - to be gentle and loving and forgiving as Christ was with all persons viewed as "sinners" (...the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars...).

I don't believe anyone is going to Hell. That's where I stand today. For me Hell was right here on earth, living in depression. Now I have entered the Kingdom of Heaven, meaning I've found true inner peace and happiness. :-)

As always, comments and feedback are welcome. I love discussing this stuff. If I have this all wrong, by all means please tell me!!

Heather's Random Thoughts - There are Millions!

I decided to write a blog because I think so much and I really think some of my thoughts are worth sharing. Let me start by saying some friends have advised me to not say so much private stuff on Facebook. I promise to think BEFORE I write/speak and will do my best to not write things I may later regret. Also, I am not going to worry about proper grammar, etc because this isn't college and I'm not being graded. If I was, it would take a lot longer but you can bet I'd get an A+, because I am a perfectionist when it comes to school (and work, and well everything else).

Today I am thinking about a couple of people (myself included) that are experiencing family problems. Siblings aren't speaking or getting along. If the person who you are upset with died suddenly, how would you feel about your last words spoken? Would you have regrets? I know I would. I have found that no one hurts me more than my own family members. It's because I love them and have allowed them "in" my heart, so I become a target when they are less than loving.

If this is something you're struggling with, please NEVER forget the two main teachings of the wise man named Jesus. "Forgive" and "Love." It's hard to forgive people who hurt us and it's even harder to keep on loving them. Something that helps me is what Jesus said on the cross as people mocked him "Forgive them Father, for they do not know." He asked forgiveness for people that were killing him. If He can do that, and if God can continually forgive us for making really stupid mistakes (daily in my case) can't we then forgive our families for when they are just plain jerks and can't see our point of view?

I saw a quote recently that went something like this "God created guilt to help us realize when we do not act lovingly."

Today I am going to reach out in love and kindness to my family members who have hurt me.

Thanks for reading my random thought of today. More to come :-) Please comment because I really like attention. Or my ego does anyway. ;-)

Further "Biblical" Reference on Forgiveness:

A blog from my pastor on Forgiveness: http://www.newlife-glastonbury.org/blog/2010/10/19/the-freedom-of-forgiveness/

Matthew 18:21-35 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Luke 6:35-38-42 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." ... How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.