Great Verse to Remember

Love is Patient; Love is Kind (King James Version; 31 Corinthians 13)

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

New International Version

1 Corinthains 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or aclanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Letter to my Friend

I am glad to see your posts - you seem very positive, and that's important. Too often I see how "the system" doesn't work - I mean, people staying clean and staying out of jail. No one teaches people HOW to stay clean by getting to the ROOT of the addictions, the cause behind the behavior. If the system did a better job of doing that, the cycle within people would be broken and everyone would know they are good and can live with pure happiness.

I will pray for you everyday to find the power within - because I know you can do it. BELIEVE everyday that you can and will, because YOU ARE WORTH IT.

The thing about AA meetings is that they teach about having a higher power. I believe what would be more effective is if they actually taught WHO that higher power is and how much He loves you and wants you to have a fulfilling life of happiness.

You've heard God is good and God is love - for many people (myself included) it didn't make sense. I thought how can God be good when He punishes me, allows people to have terrible diseases and tragic things to occur. What I learned is - that is not God. God does not do those things.

When we start finding things out about who God really is and how applying His word can transform our lives - it's amazing. I will pray for you to find this amazing inner strength because once you do ALL great things are possible and it would heal you, allowing you to finally be free from addiction, forever.

Don't allow the religious people we've met along the way, who may have judged us, to allow those experiences to shape our idea of who God is - because like I said, God is love. If it's not love and goodness, if it doesn't leave you with a good feeling, IT IS NOT GOD.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas and remember Jesus died for us because through Him we stand before God as perfect humans that never did a single thing wrong. We can forgive ourselves for messing up, because God forgives us.

The TRUTH really does set you FREE.

My Christmas Wish

My heart breaks for what breaks our Creator's heart. Please, spread His love. This Christmas, make a commitment to be a bright light in this broken world. Love one another. Forgive, and Love.

Quit Smoking

I bought a book online just so that the author would have a look at my blog and offer advice on how to improve it. Then I realized my blog is truly nothing to look at just yet. The good news is the book has funny advice for handling finances and who couldn't use more help in that area! Well at least I can. So I bought it, but now I feel kind of silly the author will be checking out my blog with like, 4 entries. His advice will probably be something like "post more blogs."

So I figured I would get started on that...I wish I had my friend Linda's brain for proper grammar and where to place commas appropriately, but I don't. And I really did complete the 2nd grade. I need to re-take that year in English (perhaps 3rd grade too) because I struggle with when to use who or whom and not ending a sentence with a preposition. Life is hard, and having to know correct grammar rules makes it all the more difficult.

I am on my first day of no smoking cigarettes - and I can tell you that it makes for a slightly grumpy mood. But I'd rather be grumpy for a bit than to develop cancer. Cancer is scary, and not something I'm interested in having, ever. I AM a non-smoker with less chances of developing cancer. And that ends my blog for today. Hope it was enjoyable.

Amazing Power of Our Universe

The power of positive is truly amazing. That's the thing about God - It's a deep feeling of pure POSITIVE belief. When you have this belief it changes EVERYTHING. Suddenly you realize with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. What we humans think is impossible is always possible with the power of God. BELIEVE in the power of positive because it works. It brings you true happiness and gives us pure hope always. AMEN ♥

More Random Thoughts, maybe a Revelation...

I realized my blog won't be 'real' until I figure out exactly what I want to focus on, meaning the overall theme. At this point my thoughts are completely random and unorganized. I also need to figure out my audience. If I talk about Jesus and God and quote the bible, will I lose the people that don't hold the same beliefs? I really need to figure out what I am going to focus on here...hmmmm...

Maybe for now my blog is more of an online journal. Bear with me, I will figure it out. I really feel God is calling me to share my stories so that in some way I can help others with similar struggles. There are two voices in my head and it totally reminds me of the old cartoons with the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. One voice is saying to write a book about my life, and the other is saying that's stupid, no one cares or will read what I have to say. I find it odd that several people over the course of my twenties have told me I should write a book. A sign or coincidence? I will continue to seek answers and in the meantime I will blog.

The thing about a book is that it won't always be pretty or 'easy' to read, especially for the people in my life who have had a lot of influence (my parents, siblings, etc). I would have to be 100% honest and do it with love. This is hard because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Maybe I just have a disclaimer up front: "You may not like what you're about to read, and you may not agree with my perspective or point of view. But please know I hold no ill feelings, I don't place blame, and I love you very much. My memories may not be accurate but they are mine - perception is reality."

That made me think of something - my husband says I always twist his words. I don't mean to, it's just that I hear what I hear. Perception really does create one's reality. For so long my perception has been tainted by evil voices in my head. I am trying everyday to stop listening to "the devil" and instead listen to the "voice of truth." It's a hard transition and I expect it will take years of undoing. The voice that tells me "you're not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough...you're not a good mother, wife, employee, sister, friend....you're worthless and no one even likes you." I hate that guy!! He makes me feel like crap. I only realized recently I have control over these voices. I can choose to replace the mean thoughts with what I call "God" thoughts or that my friend refers to as "Jesus Mode."

I hope I can teach this wisdom to my daughter.  I know all too well how around 12 years old your view of the world and your view of yourself starts to change. I was 12 when I became depressed. I was 12 when I started smoking and doing drugs. Looking back, twelve was the pivotal age for me - the beginning of severe depression, suicide attempts, obsessions with men, lots of abuse, drinking, drugs....I experienced so many terrible things between the ages of 12 and 16. And sadly I didn't get better until I was 31 years old. So many things still lingered, but most of all those mean thoughts kept eating me up inside. I still struggle but I am happy to report I now have more good days than bad. I pray and pray everyday for God's word and for God's wisdom. I don't want my daughter to be depressed or to abuse drugs (I hear they both run in the family.) She has so much potential (just like I did).

Today is Shianne's 12th birthday. I hope I am not too late.